As the title says.
It seems when you gain a husband, you loose your friends. Life just gets so busy and you can't seem to give your loved ones their rights.
My friend's aunt passed away a few days ago (May Allah have mercy on her and grant her jannatul Firdaws) and although I called my friend to see how she is and how the family is, I don't think I've done enough subhanallah and I am racked by guilt. I couldn't even attend the janaazah and haven't been to their house to offer my condolences.
Now, don't get me wrong, TOM wouldn't stop me from going to see my friend subhanallah or attending the janaazah or anything like that. It's just that he has had surgery and is still recovering so much so that I have to even help him shower, he is that helpless (miskeen). So by the time, I finish taking care of him, I can't even do anything with the day.
Haven't even been online for AGES and that's saying something.
I just feel so helpless towards my friends subhanallah. Anyway, may Allah make us of those who give rights as they are due.
Duchess
SubhanaAllah.. I was just going to say that we can always make time for important things like that... and then you said your husband had surgery and he needs you to even take a bath!!! DUTCHESSS?!!!!! Why are you feeling so guilty girl??!!! If your friend cannot understand your predicament right now, then she I would seriously question the level of friendship you both have! Yah Allah!!! Now.. if both you and your husband were fine and you just 'couldn't make the time'.. then I would tell YOU to seriously rethink what that friendship means to you. I'm sure once your husband gets better you'll be able to go and sit with the family, but now YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU SWEETIE!!!! ..there is nothing to feel guilty about that! Qadr Allah.. Qadr Allah!! :D
ReplyDeleteBTW... I pray your husband feels better soon and Allah(Swt) grants him complete Shifa'h!! Aameen
ReplyDelete...I know how difficult it is when men get sick... It's like looking after a child all of a sudden, LOL ;)
Allahumma amine! I know what you mean SIS Subhanallah! I could write a WHOLE BOOK on that subhanallah! Jazakillahu Khairan :D
ReplyDeleteConcerning my friend SUBHANALLAH, never met a more understanding person may Allah preserve her. It's just that I feel guilty (don't know if I'm making sense). Like I should do more subhanallah. I know if it was the other way, she would find SOME WAY to come over (she is like super woman somehow *roll eyes* looool).That's why I feel bad but Alhamdulillah she is very understanding subhanallah.
Jazakillahu Khairan for the comments <3
by the way, I mean I could write a whole book on men acting like babies *roll eyes*
ReplyDeleteYes, I know what you meant!! LOL :D
ReplyDeleteThe way you feel speaks VOLUMES about the kind of person you are.. MashaAllah!!! Cherish your friendship with her, keep in touch over the phone as much as you can, and InshaAllah as soon as the 'waters subside' in your end I'm sure you'll be by her side!!! :D
awww Umm Umar you are too sweet tabarakallah. May Allah preserve you and make you amongst those who attain jannah without reckoning <3
ReplyDeleteI will (take your advice) Insha Allah and will def go see her soon as he is fit and able Insha Allah
Aameen!!! thumma Aameen wa Iyaakum!!! <3 :D
ReplyDeleteSubhaan Allah, this is so true. I never realized how marriage would affect my friendships. It has made maintaining the bonds of kinship and friendship almost a chore. I'm always behind on the phone calls and the e-mails, forget about the visits! Just think, you don't even have children yet!
ReplyDeleteTruly, this is an exceptional case though as your hubby(Shifahu Allah) needs you and Qadr Allah, the timing just wasn't right for you to go. There is something that true and good friends always feel though - sincere love and caring. It doesn't matter whether you can stand at her side during the grieving, simply hearing your voice tells her what is in your heart.
I say this because I am so far away from so many of my friends and much has happened in their lives that I couldn't possibly be there for. However, even the smallest message or phone call bridges the miles - because love speaks over distance, time, and place.
May Allah safeguard the love of your husband, family, and dear friends...and reward you for your big heart - ameen.
Allahumma amine Mai barakallahu feeki. I know exactly what you mean subhanallah. It's like I think subhanallah if I don't have time for my friends now, how would it be when I have children?
ReplyDeletePerhaps this is why a lot of sisters are so lonely, I don't know.
Mai brought up a good point... CHILDREN!! At least, when you have children you will have those same friends lend you a hand... and in turn, make the friendship bond tighter as doing Khidmat for each other always does!! Having children is not the end of the world... or does it mean you will be cooked up in a 'cave' for months at a time.. it just means you will be able have those WHO CARE FOR YOU 'chip in'.. and help out!! That's what friends and families are for..
ReplyDeleteYou are right; many sisters are lonely because they are so immersed in the house, hubby, and children that their own life and friends are neglected. So many women comment on how desperately they need to have some time just to chat with a close friend, get away from the house and children for a couple of hours. I'm coming to a time where I must have some little something for me. Tending to that, gives my family a sane and happy person.
ReplyDeletesorry, it seems I accepted the comments backwords :P so mai's comment seems to be after Umm Umar's when it should be before?
ReplyDeleteLOL, we are women..we can figure it out, wrong order or not! Never underestimate the power of the female brain, mashaa'Allah!
ReplyDeleteLOL yeah Alhamdulillah Mai. But I agree that having friends and family to help is a big thing subhanallah (may Allah reward them) and it is ALWAYS good to have down time with the sisters cos you need their companionship also
ReplyDelete