It's been a while

I haven't posted anything in a while and so I miss my fellow bloggers.

Hubby is going back to work tomorrow (today if you want to be pedantic :p) May Allah make the transition of being at home for two months to work easy.

Duchess

Passive aggression

I cannot STAND passive aggressive people subhanallah. This is the reason why I LOVE Africans. When they are aggressive, they are actively so. This can be quite frustrating but at least you know where you stand with them.

With others and unfortunately, SISTERS, they can't just be straight with you and inform you of their grievances. Rather, they have to be bitchy and underhanded in their dealings. How can we genuinely cultivate sisterhood when we are all suspicious of one another's niyyah and words?

This disease has even permeated our naseeha to one another. It is like we are trying to get one up on one another as opposed to just giving naseeha for the sake of Allah subhanallah. It is really quite frustrating I tell you.

For instance my sister was once approached by a sister at the masjid whose kids were being the BIGGEST BRATS EVER Subhanallah!!!! What happened was, my sister tried to control them and tell them off as any sister would but then, their mother comes and rather than approach my sister and speak to her, she starts making bitchy comments at her saying she was masculine in her ways and should try and be more feminine.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR BRATTY ASS KIDS?! But such is life eh?

Wallahu'l musta'an

Duchess

Follow the leader

TOM and I had been at my mother in law's house now for like a week. It started off us wanting to just stay for the weekend but we kept postponing going back to our house everyday and it's been a week now.

So this evening, we wanted to have tea but there was no tea bags and since it was way past maghrib, my younger sister in law and I asked TOM to walk us to the high street to get the tea bags. As there were four of us on this journey (TOM, me, my sister in law and their first cousin who is sleeping over since her mum is in cyprus for a week), we had to appoint an ameer as per the hadeeth of the Rassul salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

ANYWAY, we get the tea and we are on our way home but TOM was being SO EXTRA with his leadership duties and we were all getting a bit fed up. So we are walking home and are about to cross the road:

TOM: No, we are not crossing until the ameer says so
Group: no can we cross here please
TOM: Not until the ameer says so
Sister in Law: But we can't cross up there cos-
TOM: NOT until the ameer says so
SIL: But TOM, we can't cross up there cos of the road works
TOM: Listen to your ameer
SIL: *getting fed up* I'm crossing here!
TOM: (after seeing all of us start crossing) ok we can cross here now cos the ameer says so
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

I was in stitches. When we got home, I told his mum what had happened and she was like "my poor son, he was outnumbered" :P

Duchess

Disclaimer

I've been told to state that the last post is in no way referring to my glorious husband who is oh so glorious and great *roll eyes* :p

Duchess

Rights?

Why is it that in Islam, it seems that men have rights and women have patience? Why is it that we have to constantly extend and extend our endurance but all that seems to do is increase the demands?

I think seeking jannah through one's husband has to be THE most abused concept. Where is our rights and our needs being met? Why is it when a sister asks for that which is BASIC from her rights, she is seen as demanding and "dunyafied" but in the same breath, we have to be patient when rights are being demanded for?


I get so fed up with brothers whose wives are on benefit (state funded support eg welfare for the americans I think) wanting a second wife because of the "fitnah". Where is your patience akhi? Where is your fulfilment of obligation that Allah has placed on you? But this is from his right isn't it? He is only safe guarding his akhirah.

Yet a sister asking for, I don't know, separate accommodation from her in laws, not a mansion but even a flat so that she doesn't have to share her room with her two growing kids subanallah. This sister, only asking for her right, to safeguard HER akhirah is told to have patience. Where is the justice in this?

And we wonder why the ummah is in such a pitiful state. Wallahu'l musta'an

Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah

Barakallahu feekun my dear sisters for all your du'as and well wishes.

Subhanallah, my husband and I went to go sort out the important issue that I had mentioned last. Allah made it so easy and we were pleased with the outcome.

I might mention it in a few post Insha Allah but right now, it is still too painful to talk about. Please remember us in your du'as and I ask Allah to bless you all with jannatul firdaws and make you amongst the most pious of His 'Ibaad

Duchess x

Du'a

As salaamu 'alaikum my dear sisters,

I hope this finds you well and in the best of eemaan.

My mum always said "seek the du'a for the people cos you do not know who Allah will answer their du'as"

I am in desperate need of your du'as. My husband and I have something extremely important to conduct on Tuesday Insha Allah. Please please please make du'a that we are pleased with the outcome and Allah is pleased with us.

We are extremely worried.

Barakallahu feekum

Duchess

Patience

Allah gives and He takes and He is the best of those who disposes of our affairs.

I went to see the nurse today and it turns out that I was wrong in what I had assumed (re: last post). I cannot say that I am not disappointed but Alhamdulillah. We are patient with the Qadr of Allah.

This just means that we increase in our du'as and we strive more in getting closer to Allah and subhanallah this is from the beauty of this deen that in everything, there is benefit. When Allah blesses us, we are grateful so we attain His Pleasure. When He tests us, we strive to pray harder so we can attain His Mercy and Forgiveness. Subhanallah.

Subhanallah my husband has been very supportive in this although he was very happy when I had told him the news (the first time). May Allah reward him for his patience.

Duchess

Allah is the best of those who provides

Subhanallah, yesterday, I was so down as a result of certain situations that I find myself in.

I vowed to myself that my complaints I would take to my Rabb as He is the only one who can aid me in my afflictions and ease my hardship.

Today, I woke up for fajr and then after, I attended my Qur'an class and then Allah bless me with something that subhanallah I suspected but didn't want my heart to believe.

Please remember me in all your du'as and ask Allah to please keep my husband and I in this good state. I ask Allah to aid the believers and ease all their affairs and pour upon them patience in all their hardship

Duchess

Complication

Story of my life.

Although I should be grateful. There are others in much worst situations than me Subhanallah. It's just...when you're going through something, its hard to invalidate your own feelings by thinking of those in worst situations. It's like thinking of them doesn't alleviate you of your burden or lighten your heavy chest.

I don't know, maybe I'm just selfish. Perhaps others are better than this.

I'm just so fed up with how people only thing of their own happiness and comfort. I don't mind. If my happiness will affect you and yours then fine, of course, no problem, think of yourself first. This is human nature after all and I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't do the same.

But subhanallah, when one prevents another for no reason but their own selfish vision and regardless of the other's pain they are adamant on that path, what is the wording for this?

I'm getting tired now on this road that seems to have no end. It's like every step I take, thinking I am finding an exit, I stare even further down a road that darkens as it lengthens. I have laid down my weapons. I have no fight left in me.

I hope you are happy. For my sadness and anguish is what feeds your joy.