The Lion King

A few nights ago, TOM and I were watching The Lion King. So I set the table with cakes and all the sweety things

Now I'm a true BRIT so HAD to have my tea close by.

Anyways I'm reaching for me tea, when I looked over at my hubby and had to do a double take. He was crying at the scene where Mufasa dies.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool I was in stitches but I tried (and failed to hold them back). So I'm like awww honey *pats him on shoulder* and he is like *trying to fight back tears* shut up man, its sad innit?

Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool sorry just had to share.

Hope you all are having a good evening

Gain a husband, lose a friend

As the title says.

It seems when you gain a husband, you loose your friends. Life just gets so busy and you can't seem to give your loved ones their rights.

My friend's aunt passed away a few days ago (May Allah have mercy on her and grant her jannatul Firdaws) and although I called my friend to see how she is and how the family is, I don't think I've done enough subhanallah and I am racked by guilt. I couldn't even attend the janaazah and haven't been to their house to offer my condolences.

Now, don't get me wrong, TOM wouldn't stop me from going to see my friend subhanallah or attending the janaazah or anything like that. It's just that he has had surgery and is still recovering so much so that I have to even help him shower, he is that helpless (miskeen). So by the time, I finish taking care of him, I can't even do anything with the day.

Haven't even been online for AGES and that's saying something.

I just feel so helpless towards my friends subhanallah. Anyway, may Allah make us of those who give rights as they are due.

Duchess

Relationships...

Relationships are tricky.

As humans, we form various relationships with different people and as such, are defined by the names we give to each relationship we occupy.

At school, we are students as opposed to teachers so we occupy a role of submissiveness in the face of authority. We are daughters/sons, friends, sisters/brothers. As we mature, we form relationships with those who we find a common interest with and shared goals so we become wives/husbands and mothers/fathers if Allah wills.

Relationships are tricky. The more strings we add to our bows the harder it is to juggle the rights of all upon us.

Sometimes we get it right and subhanallah, it is like there is nothing better in this world. Our family are happy with us and our choices, our spouses are pleased with us and our love, our friends are happy with us and our loyalty...

But then there are those times when nothing seems to be going right. Today seems to be one of those days.

I cannot be ungrateful subhanallah. My hubby is good tabarakallah (and may Allah always keep us so), my dear friends are also good Alhamdulillah (and may Allah always preserve our friendship) but my relationship with my family...subhanallah that could be better.

I feel like nothing I do can make my mum happy. I just can't seem to find the middle ground with her. Whatever path I decide to take, to create my own happiness seems to be full of pit falls and disappointment and I am well and truly drained.

And when this is so, there is nothing worst in the world.

Khair Alhamdulillah. We are patient for Allah's Mercy. I know everyone is tested in different ways so perhaps I have it easy but this realisation doesn't make my situation any easier to deal with.

I just wish I had my mum's blessings and happiness.

Today was not a good day :(

Levels of Afflictions

Question: What’s the ruling of someone who becomes angry when a hardship or affliction befalls him?

Answer: People, during circumstances of affliction or difficulties, are at four levels:

 

** The First Level – Becoming Angry This can be in different ways: ** The first way:The anger is by the heart as if he’s angry at his Lord. So, he gets angry with what Allaah has decreed for him, and this (level) is not permissible. It’s possible that it could even lead to disbelief. Allaah says:”And among mankind is he who worships Allaah as it were, upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he’s content therewith, but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts back to disbelief after embracing Islaam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter.”[Soorah Al-Hajj, 22:11]

** The second type:The anger is by the tongue like making praying and supplicating for destruction or ruin or by similar statements, and this is also impermissible. ** The third type:The anger is by the limbs like slapping the cheeks, ripping the clothes, pulling out hair (some Arab cultural reactions of Jaahiliyyah), and similar actions. And none of this is allowed; it’s in contradiction to having patience which is required.

** The Second Level – Remaining Patient It’s just like a poet said, “Patience, like its name, is bitter in taste, yet its outcomes are sweeter than honey.”Such a person sees this thing (the affliction, problem) as weighing down heavily on him, But he bears it although he dislikes that it happened. His faith bears it patiently and prevents him from being angry. So, the times of affliction and times without are not the same to him. This (level) is obligatory because Allaah commanded the people to be patient, saying:”And be patient. Certainly, Allaah is with the patient ones.”[Soorah Al-Anfaal 8:46]

** The Third Level – Being Pleased with the AfflictionIn such a way, the person is pleased with the affliction. It’s the same to him whether it happened or not; it’s not difficult upon him and he doesn’t bear it as if it is something weighing heavily on him. This (level) is preferred but not an obligation according to the most correct opinions. The difference between this level and the one before it is apparent because the affliction happening or not happening (in this third level) is the same due to the fact that the person at this level is actually content and pleased. As for the level before it, the affliction is hard upon him, yet he still remains patient over it. 

** The Fourth Level – Being ThankfulActually being grateful is the highest level. This is the state when a person thanks Allaah for the affliction that has befallen him. He knows that such a difficulty is a means of expiation for his sins and perhaps a cause for an increase in his good deeds. The Prophet SAW said:“There’s no affliction that strikes a Muslim except that Allaah expiates with it (his sins), even with a thorn that may poke him.”Recorded by Al-Bukhaaree (no.5640) and Muslim (no.2572)

By Shaykh Ibn Al-‘Uthaymeen.

source: http://fafirrooelaallaah.wordpress.com/

snow

So I was reading Umm UmarNY's blog and I saw her post concerning snow in the US and it reminded me of when it first snowed in London this winter.

At first, it didn't settle where I live because it wasn't enough to settle and several people kept calling me to ask me if I was having a snow fight to which I replied, no.

Finally, in the middle of the night, we were sitting, my family and I, when my brother noticed the snow coming down heavily outside our window. Him, being the freshie (FOB), he is, decides to go outside, in the snow, in SHORTS and SLIPPERS!!!!! I mean who does that?!

It took me back to a memory of last year when it snowed and I was round Miss K's and we went outside and had a snow fight and made snow angels. Aaaaahhhh that was too fun. You should have seen us in our jilbaabs and niqaabs. Good times :D

Duchess

Of ignorance and men!

Carrying on from the picture theme, I sent TOM the pics from our wedding. What had happened was, because we are muslims, the wedding was segregated and so the men's side was somewherelse completely.

Now when my friend's sent me pictures of the wedding, there were some pictures that weren't family like those with my friends in it without hijaab. So TOM was forbidden from going into the folder with the pictures until I sorted it out.
When I finished sorting it out, I had labelled the folders "Mahram" and "Non Mahram" and because I'm currently at my mum's, I had sent the folder labelled Mahram to TOM and my father in law to see.

When I spoke to TOM that night, I asked him whether he had seen the pictures and he had replied in the affirmative. Then I asked him what he thought of them and he said he couldn't look at them properly as he was at work. This time, he starts acting weird so I knew something was wrong. When I finally dragged it out of him, I was quite frankly disappointed.

What had happened was TOM was at work when he got the pictures and out of curiousity, he logged into the surgery computer and had a look at the pictures. But he couldn't look properly cos he had to log out as men might be passing by.

When he saw one of the nurses (an old woman), he said to her to come over so that he can show her his wife at our wedding, When the nurse saw the pictures, she goes, "Oh, she is black?! (like she didn't know)" then she goes "oh wow, she's pretty" and TOM said the way she said it like she was surprised that I am.

At first he thought he was being paranoid but then one of the surgeons who had heard their conversation said "No but what do you mean, some black people have nice features."

Now this disappointed me cos I thought subhanallah, these are supposed to be educated people talking like this. I mean I know the surgeon meant well and she was probably trying to defend me (or TOM as the case may be) but her comments were not in the least bit helpful. And don't get me STARTED on the nurse!

*sigh* I see we haven't moved on from the stone ages!

Duchess

Wedding & Friendships

I was looking back on my wedding photos with all my friends and sisters and subhanallah it was such a beautiful day.

I especially wish to thank Miss K as subhanallah EVERYONE should have a friend like her...apart from her "honest days" ;) I just remember her getting up early to go get me the wedding nasheeds and then coming over and fixing my makeup and hair.

Loool it's so funny that she fixed my hair cos I remember when we were younger than this, I used to say to her "Miss K, I'd rather die than have you fix my hair" and she would say "you watch, you watch, one day, when you need me, I would rather you go bald than touch your nasty hair" and then on the day, I was like "Miss K come on man" OBVIOUSLY she had to cuss me down first but she did it tabarakallah.

Honestly that proper brought a tear to my eyes.

I was looking over the pictures and remember that ALL my friends came through for me subhanallah. Even those who drove down from outside my city Subhanallah.

May Allah reward all of them for their journey and bless them with the highest of Jannah and I ask Allah to make us friends in the akhirah as He has chosen us as friends in this dunya.

Duchess