New Year's Resolution: revisited

So far, not so good :(

Haven't really started on anything I wanted to do. I don't know why i am so demotivate these days :(. I'm a person who used to have a get up and go attitude but...I don't know, I'm not up to much and its really depressing.

Will keep you updated Insha Allah

New Year's Resolution

Now I'm not usually one for New Year's resolution and all of that palavar but this year, I decided that you know what, I've been living quite aimlessly for the past few years. Waking, sleeping, waking, sleeping and before you know it, I'm a year older, not a lot wiser and if I'm honest with myself, I don't feel that I have grown much in my deen.

As a result of this, I have resolved with a firm resolution that I am to pen down my goals and ambitions for the year to come. Well into of February. Cos I'm a bad ninjabi like that ;-).

I usually set my goals before the end of Ramadhan to meet the next Ramadhan but I always seem to lose motivation and keep procastinating my starting date till the next Ramadhan meets me with nothing much achieved.

Even this post has been started and relegated to draft more times than I care to count but I promise to at least finish this post today. Insha Allah.

So this time, I have decided to shame myself into publicly declaring my goals in the hope that it would propel me to actually actualize them or at least go forward in the hopes that they would see life outside of my head.

I am nervous and scared for this goal will inform my fears of whether or not I am destined for failure with regards to goal settings.

*big sigh*

Here goes:

Ok, I can't do it. The thought of public humiliation is one I can do without. I have however reached a compromise with myself in that I have written down my goals in a book and will update you insha Allah as to whether and when I have fulfilled my goals.

Please remember me in your du'as :D

Duchess

Stuff New mums say :P

This is my take on the craze that's currently trending on Youtube masha Allah lol

"TOM!!!!!”

“Crap! I need my sleep”

“TOM!!!!!”

“ He Is pooing chicken korma...all over his new outfit *cry*”

“Well EXCUSE YOU that the house looks like crap, you don’t have your breast permanently attached to a baby’s mouth so YOU find the damn hoover!”

“TOM? TOM?!!! COME PLEASE!!!!”

“I NEED SUPPORT, I’m not coping *cry*”

“TOM MAN!!! Come upstairs please, I’m breastfeeding I need your help...pass me my phone on that table, I want to see what’s happening on facebook”

“Awww, Tom, he pooed masha Allah, doesn’t he look cute when he pooes?”

“TOM! I just spent 4 frigging hours breastfeeding and he is finally sleeping. If you kiss him and wake him up, you need to take out your damn tits.”

Birth Story

As salaamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh my beloved Sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my beloved buba's birth story. May Allah bless him and honour him and make him of the inhabitants of jannah.

I woke up on Tuesday, 13th of December feeling a bit of contraction but it wasn't that strong AT ALL so I thought I would stay home from uni and not go in cos imagine if I went into labour? Getting towards the evening, the contractions started getting stronger but not unbearably so. At around 3am, I woke hubs up and told him that I wanted us to go to the hospital as my contractions were getting stronger and I thought my water had broken (I had thought my water had broken like a billion times before that but that's another story *roll eyes*)

So we got there and went to the birth centre and the midwife checked me and said that i was just discharging and my water hadn't broken. I was also not dilating even though my contractions were getting REALLY PAINFUL at this point. My contractions were also coming really close together but weren't lasting long ALLAHU AKBAR!

So they sent me home.

I then called my mum to tell her that my tummy was hurting (cos I was too shy to tell her that i was contracting) and she was like "MAMA!!!!! You stupid child! you are contracting! TELL THEM YOU ARE CONTRACTING!" I was like "mama, they know but they are sending me home"

So we get home now and hubs goes straight to bed and i just couldn't sleep cos of the contractions as they were getting stronger. All of a sudden, my water ACTUALLY broke and i told hubs to get up as we had to go back to the the hospital. This was at 7:15. I called the hospital, went to go shower and freshen up (cos I didn't want to give birth smelly) and we went to the hospital.

As soon as we got to the hospital and I got out of the car, my mum called me. Now in my head, there was NO WAY I was giving birth that day so when my mum told me that she was in a cab coming, i was like no cos they were just going to send me home. I didn't know my mum was on a war path LOOOOOOOL! So she was like "what do they mean they are going to send you home? I'm gonna come meet them this stupid NHS! I'm coming for them! Hold on!" I was like "mama, i have to go cos i'm having another tummy ache"

As soon as I got into the hospital room, I STRIPPED off and the midwife checked me and told me I was only 2cm dilated. I wanted to cry. This was around 9am and my hubs came in after he had parked the car. The midwife left and I turned to hubs and said "I'm sorry fatih but I want an epidural" he then said "hauwa, you told me to not mention an epidural but only you know what kind of pain you are in so if you want it, i'll support you in that"

So when the midwife came in, I said to her "GIVE ME A C SECTION" hubs just said "what the flip??? how did we go from epidural to c-section?" loooooooooooooooooooooooool. The midwife said to me in a sweet voice "oh honey, we can't give you a c-section cos baby is fine and so are you" I was like "I'M NOT FINE! AND IF I'M IN DISTRESS, SO IS THE BABY! GIVE ME A C-SECTION" Just then, I felt a contraction hit me and I reached for her but she thought i was going to punch her and she flinched looooooooooooooooooooooooool so i said " I wasn't going to hit you" and she goes "i know" but you could see she was scared loooooooooooooooooooool miskeenah

Finally, I asked for pethidine and she gave it to me and it made me drowsy. When I woke up, my mum was in the room so i started saying to my husband "i love my mum, she is the best" loooooooooooooool then i'd fall asleep again and wake up with the pain of contractions. After like 20 mins so around 9:45am, I said to the nurse, i feel like pushing, i dont know why? she was like "no you can't, don't push" my mum was like "CHECK HER!!!!" LOOOOOOOL

When the midwife checked me, i had gone to 8cm masha Allah. When hubs heard this, he started crying and my mum, being a true african who doesn't like overt showing of emotions, said "Ya Rabbi, why are you testing me with these two?" ie me and my hubs looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

After another short while, I went to 10cm and so started pushing Alhamdulillah and before long, he was here tabarakallah. I was only in established labour and delivery for 54mins tabarakallah.

I'm back...hopefully Insha Allah

As salaamu 'alaikum my wonderful blog family,

Subhanallah how I have missed blogging and my lovely sisters.

It has been a while. Almost a year to be exact :). May Allah make us of those who have benefitted from the past year although, I cannot say that I have done much for myself to be honest.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged subhanallah. I found out the following month (March) that I was pregnant with my little bubba. Had THE WORST MORNING SICKNESS in the world. TOM had to endure the most bratty of pregnant wives ever (good times, good times :D). Went back to uni. Pushed out a baby and here I am masha Allah.

Bubba is gonna be 1 month in a few days insha Allah and I'll put up my birth story in another post. He is THE MOST gorgeous young man EVER tabarakallah. May Allah preserve him and make him amongst the righteous and perfect his character. May Allah bless him and increase him in khair and honour him with jannatul Firdaws. Allahumma amine xxxx

Duchess

It's been a while

I haven't posted anything in a while and so I miss my fellow bloggers.

Hubby is going back to work tomorrow (today if you want to be pedantic :p) May Allah make the transition of being at home for two months to work easy.

Duchess

Passive aggression

I cannot STAND passive aggressive people subhanallah. This is the reason why I LOVE Africans. When they are aggressive, they are actively so. This can be quite frustrating but at least you know where you stand with them.

With others and unfortunately, SISTERS, they can't just be straight with you and inform you of their grievances. Rather, they have to be bitchy and underhanded in their dealings. How can we genuinely cultivate sisterhood when we are all suspicious of one another's niyyah and words?

This disease has even permeated our naseeha to one another. It is like we are trying to get one up on one another as opposed to just giving naseeha for the sake of Allah subhanallah. It is really quite frustrating I tell you.

For instance my sister was once approached by a sister at the masjid whose kids were being the BIGGEST BRATS EVER Subhanallah!!!! What happened was, my sister tried to control them and tell them off as any sister would but then, their mother comes and rather than approach my sister and speak to her, she starts making bitchy comments at her saying she was masculine in her ways and should try and be more feminine.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR BRATTY ASS KIDS?! But such is life eh?

Wallahu'l musta'an

Duchess