Gold fish...and other things golden :)

So TOM and I are having dinner:

TOM: you know I had to give my gold fish CPR once
Duchess: really subhanallah, what happened?
TOM: well I could see it wasn't breathing in its bowl, so I took it out and started breathing into it and pumping its chest
Duchess: woah o_O, did it live?
TOM: (gives me a look only reserved for slow people) ok you doughnut, its a joke
Duchess: (slightly annoyed but not showing it so says in a sing song voice) I see someone doesn't want prime real estate*
TOM: Oh shush, it still doesn't stop you from being slow though :)

Duchess

* that statement refers to the fact that the Rassul salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said "I guarantee a house in the middle of Paradise for the one who leave of lying even if it be in jest"

Dear TOM

Dear TOM,

Whenever I am angry with you and I am sulking, it is not sufficient for you to keep saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry". NO! Do you even know WHY you are sorry? What's to stop you from doing it again in future?

So, whenever I am angry with you, you listen attentively to what it is you have done wrong and THEN after thoroughly understanding my reasons for getting angry/upset, you apologise.

You do not give me that one raised eye brow thing that you know makes me weak and causes me to loose my reasoning in the middle of my well thought out speech dammit!

Duchess

Dear TOM

Dear TOM,

When you take a woman shopping, you don't EVER EVER guess the wrong size (ie make her bigger than she is)! If you don't know, its ALWAYS safer to guess the smallest size on the rack and if your wife takes a bigger size FEIGN surprise if you have to, all the while saying "are you sure that's not too big?"...actually that's equally as insulting. Ok Dear TOM, unless you wake up tomorrow and find me to be a size zero, never look at the size of my clothing when we go shopping.

Duchess

kitten dilemma

Ok TOM and I have two BEAUTIFUL gorgeous and absolutely fabulous kittens. Real kittens (ie this is not a metaphore for our children, we've only been married five months people slow your roll)

They are Aslan and Nasrah (too cute for words). Now since we got them, I TOTALLY understand the statement curiosity killed the cat. I swear I can't open a cupboard, drawer, OVEN, WASHING MACHINE (lives longer with calgon*) without one of them trying to crawl in. Its so annoying sometimes cos you don't want to lock them in there by mistake and they poo inside ewwwww.

Anywhoo so I was talking to TOM on the phone (cos I wasn't home and he was) and he must have opened a cupboard to which Aslan proceeded to waltz in. TOM then tells me and this is the conversation that ensues:

TOM: The cat's gone in the cupboard again
Duchess: I betcha it's Aslan.
TOM: Yeah it's him
Duchess: hmmm, who else? (as in who else would it be if not him).
TOM: No, just him
Duchess: yeah I know, who else (ie same as above, who else if not him).
TOM: No, duchess...just him (he says this like I'M the slow one)
Duchess: No dumbass (and proceeds to explain what I mean)

looooool awww TOM, thank God you're cute :)

* that line is from an advert in a UK commercial for washing machine cleaners. So whenever I hear the term washing machine, I always finish by saying "lives longer with calgon". Annoying, yes I know but TOM understands me.

Duchess